Baby Steps
by meganechan720
Summary: Oneshots of a family trying to piece itself back together. I had some issues with the 2007 movie I needed to work out. This is the result.
1. Zero Hour

"I'm, like, dreaming, aren't I?"

"No, Mikey, you're—you're not dreaming."

"Good. I have nightmares about birthday parties."

Leo's brow furrows.

"Birthday parties—oh, Cowabunga Carl. Is it really that bad?"

His little brother looks up from where his head is smushed against his plastron, soul visible through his eyes: sadness is ascendant. It makes Leo's heart twinge.

"Yes," he says in a small voice. "Shredder never hit me where these kids do."

Leo laughs in spite of himself, in spite of the fact that behind his joke, Michelangelo is completely serious. He hears Don sigh next to him, and he looks at his brother, really looks at him. Now that the happy shock of Leo's presence has worn off a little, there is an expression on his face Leo can tell is habitual, but it's one he's never seen before. It is careworn and weary, almost jaded. It makes him afraid. He pushes Mikey upright and looks into his eyes.

"Why did you have to get a job doing birthday parties, Mikey?" He can understand Don doing tech support. It had seemed criminal for his genius to be wasted like that, but it was something Don could do, and it had been very responsible of him to provide for the family like that. But why Mikey? Why did his little brother have to do something so grown up as get a job? He'd imagined Mikey enjoying his work as an entertainer, but it was clear he was miserable. Don answers for him.

"Mikey needed something to do. With me working and Raph… well, doing whatever, we needed to keep him occupied."

Leo's furrowed brow turns into a real frown. Mikey's humor-filled expression wilts a little.

"Aw, c'mon, Don, you don't have to say it like I'm a dog who starts chewing on shoes if I don't get enough exercise."

"Well, Mikey, I hate to use such a distasteful metaphor, but you basically did."

"It wasn't _that_ bad."

"You were playing video games all day."

"I'd skate!"

"Oh, like that's any better."

Leo watches this with a sick feeling in his stomach. He's beginning to see what his absence has done to his family. Don and Mike _never_ fought like this. Not that this can even be properly called a fight. And it's not like they never fought at all. But a fight between Don and Mikey was either mostly full of teasing and rough-housing and over quickly, or it was a smoldering conflict that could last for days. There had never been this—this… _rehashed_ feeling, as though they'd had this conversation a thousand times before and they have forgotten how to talk to each other any other way. It makes him wonder what else has gone wrong in this family during his absence.

He has a feeling he'll find out soon enough.


	2. i

_I can't tell them_, she thought, waiting for the boat.

_I can't tell them,_ waiting for the storm to subside.

_I can't tell them,_ waiting for the boat to dock.

_I can't tell them their brother isn't coming home._

_

* * *

_

Oh, she'd told Splinter that she'd talked to Leo almost right after it happened. Told him his son was alive and well. But then he'd asked that question, the one she couldn't answer, and for the first time in her life she'd lied to Splinter.

_When is my son coming home, Miss O'Neil?_

It had been like lying to God.

_He was a little vague on that, actually. He thinks he's failed, thinks there's something missing. I tried to tell him what you would tell him, but I don't know if he got it._

Splinter had been silent, and she wondered how much he guessed. She wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out he could read minds. He always knew when his sons were lying. What if it wasn't a father's intuition at all and actually mystical powers? She'd actually started to panic slightly, wondering how bad it was for her karma to lie to Splinter like this, about something so important.

But he'd merely thanked her for the news and they'd said their goodbyes.

* * *

When Leo does come home, she's glad she didn't tell them. But she wonders if she should make _him_ tell them.


	3. Abducted By Aliens

Leo can't believe it. He's been home for a grand total of twenty minutes, and Mikey is already hitting him up to play video games. He's been out in the jungle for the past year and a half, seeking to refine his spirit, become a better leader for his brothers, and further more, he's been traveling for the last thirty-six hours and he needs to sleep. He is not about to veg out on the couch and play games. He opens his mouth to refuse—

—and Mikey turns on the puppy dog eyes. Leo has never been able to say no to the puppy dog eyes, and even a year refining his spirit hasn't increased his resistance.

"All right, _one_ round, but then I'm going to bed."

Mikey whoops and dances around the lair so enthusiastically that Leo knows he will not be able to refuse a second round should Mikey ask. They settle in and Mikey chooses his character for him. The game system is unfamiliar to Leo, and Mikey lets him play a freebie round to get used to it. As Leo's character stumbles around like a drunkard, Mikey makes some light conversation.

"So, why did you stay away so long?"

Leo doesn't want to answer that. He stays silent for as long as he dares, and then just says,

"I wasn't finished with my training."

"But Splinter only told you six months. You were gone a whole extra year. What were you doing?"

"Training," Leo says, rolling his eyes. They move on to the main round, and Mikey trounces him easily.

"Another round?" he pleads, and Leo gives in, too tired to even pretend to resist.

"So, did you finish your training? Are you back for good?"

"Of course I'm back for good, Mikey. This is where I belong. I know that now."

Mikey pauses the game and rounds on him, eyes flashing.

"_Now_?" he repeats angrily. Leo can only stare at the abrupt change in his brother. "You know that _now?_ Meaning you didn't before?"

Leo's non-answer is answer enough. Mikey makes a noise of disgust.

"Is that why you stayed away? Because you forgot where you belonged?"

"I—" Leo can see now that Mikey needs an answer closer to the truth. He fiddles with the game controller. "I lost track of what was important. Something was missing, and I didn't want to come home a failure."

Mikey's expression has lost some of its anger, but Don's voice is cutting.

"I guess we all owe Raph forty bucks, then."

Mikey squeaks and jumps. Leo ignores him and turns to look at Don, who has a cold expression on his face.

"What do you mean?" Leo asks. Mikey answers.

"When you didn't come back, we all took bets on what you were doing. It looks like Raph won. I bet you were abducted by aliens. Guess I lost."

He feigns looking forlorn, and Leo gives him a chuckle. Don doesn't move.

"Don't you want to know what Raph bet?" he asks, his voice still cold. It's giving Leo the creeps. He nods. "He bet you didn't come home because you still had that perfectionist stick stuck up your tail."

Leo's mouth drops open. Mikey laughs.

"Well, you know, close enough. Come on, bro, I'm gonna kick your butt!"

They turn back to the game, Leo with an unsettled feeling in his stomach. Mikey's character mops the floor with Leo's, and Leo can't help but feel it's symbolic somehow. On his way to bed, he passes Don's room, and stops.

"What did you bet, Don?" he asks in a low voice. Don doesn't turn to face him.

"I didn't. But… if I had, I would have bet you were dead."

Leo's entire body goes cold, and he can't think of anything to say. Don continues.

"It was the only thing I could conceive of that would have kept you away from us."

Words continue to fail him. Don gets up and comes to the door.

"I guess I was wrong."

He closes the door.

It takes Leo a long time to fall asleep that night.


	4. ii

As Leo watches his brothers follow Raph onto the girding, laughing as they go, he wonders which of the two of them got more training as a leader during his absence.


	5. Nightwatcher Comes Out

Raph stood in front of his two brothers, the third next to him with a supporting hand on his shoulder. He stepped forward, making Leo drop his hand, and squared his shoulders.

"Guys, I… I'm the Nightwatcher," he said. Michelangelo burst out laughing. His brothers all stared at him, nonplussed. Raph was the first to recover.

"You think that's funny, Mikey?" he said with a slight growl. Mike got a hold of himself enough to answer,

"No, but you telling us that like you're coming out of the closet is." Raph's mouth dropped open. Mikey continued. "And Leo's even standing there like you're going to tell us he's your boyfriend!"

Mike fell back on his shell, laughing hysterically. Leo and Raph shared a horrified look, and then by silent mutual agreement, took a slight step away from each other. Don chuckled.

"Seriously, Raph, we already knew," he said, sidestepping his comedian little brother, who was having trouble breathing. Raph recoiled.

"What? Why didn't you say anything?"

Don sighed.

"To be honest, I just didn't want to have that argument with you, Raph. Besides, I knew what would happen. We'd get into a huge fight, and either things would be horrible between us, or you'd pretend to relent, and another superhero would pop up to replace the Nightwatcher. Also…" Don looked embarrassed. "I was… kind of jealous. That you were brave enough to do what I wanted to do."

Raph was silent for a moment, and then punched his brother on the shoulder softly. Don returned the gesture, and Mikey stopped laughing, smiling contentedly at his brothers, who were smiling at each other as they hadn't done since Leo left.

Leo doesn't miss the fact that none of them are looking at him.


	6. iii

"I'm smart." When he falls and crashes and no one laughs, that's when he knows things are bad.


	7. Ghost of the Jungle Boy

"I don't believe this."

Raph was standing, body tense like he was ready for a fight. Leo stood up slowly to match him. April, who had just told a story she'd heard while in the village where she'd found Leo, sank down into the couch to make herself smaller, and was relieved when Mikey put an arm around her protectively. She knew Raph and Leo would never hurt her, even accidentally, but they could be very scary when they wanted to be. Right now they were terrifying.

"Don't believe what, Raph?" Leo asked in a soft voice, one that could be either soothing or menacing depending on the context. Raph bared his teeth. He'd heard menacing.

"You. I don't believe you, Fearless. Jungle Boy. You're an effing hypocrite."

Leo folded his arms over his chest.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific, Raph."

Raph flung his hand in the air sharply, giving a short chuffing sound that might have been a laugh.

"Ghost of the Jungle, huh? You," he shouted, jabbing his finger well into Leo's personal space, "Were a vigilante. You. Mister I-Gotta-Take-Down-The-Nightwatcher-When-I'm-Supposed-To-Be-Looking-For-My-Brother."

Leo bristled. "I _was_ looking for you. I just found the Nightwatcher first. And you _were_ the Nightwatcher, so it's kind of a moot point anyway."

"Oh, no, no, no." Raph shook his head, grinning like he was amused, though there was nothing funny about the way he was nearly standing on his toes in readiness for battle. "It is most definitely _not_ a moot point. And you don't get to change the subject like that. You killed people, didn't you. Out there in the jungle. There ain't no effing police station to drop them off at down there. Knocking out people like that don't do anything but make 'em mad. So you musta killed 'em."

Donnie leaned over to Mikey as Leo and Raph's voices got louder and louder.

"Fight?"

"Fight," Mike said flatly.

"Kitchen?" Donnie offered. Mike was silent for a moment.

"….No."

He stood up, relinquishing April to Donnie, and stepped between his brothers.

"Both of you SHUT UP."

They did, mostly in shock. Mike's eyes were hard, like he was in a tough battle that would not afford jokes. His mouth was a thin line.

"Raph, I know you're upset that Leo abandoned us," Leo flinched, "and I understand. Obviously, I do. But _you_ abandoned us too!"

Raph's eyes went wide, and he rocked back on his heels, floored by the words. His younger brother went on.

"And I'm not even talking about the fact that you were out all night and asleep all day, man. Even when you were here, you weren't… here. You weren't Raph." He pinned his brother down with an almost sorrowful look. "As far as I'm concerned you're _both_ hypocrites."

Then he went to the kitchen.


	8. iv

"These are the qualities of a great leader as well." The words sink deep into his soul, such that when he hands Leo his swords with an apology on his lips, he can do so knowing that Splinter's decision to make Leo the leader has been both more and less arbitrary than he's thought for the last seven years.


	9. Cowabunga Leo

Leo was spying on his brother.

Well, sort of. He was pretty sure his brother knew he was there; preoccupied though he was, he was still a ninja, and Leo hadn't been trying to be sneaky. He hadn't needed to. The person Don was helping now was either deaf or in another country. Or both. Either way, Don was practically shouting. And he was shouting the same few things over and over, to the point where Leo thought he could probably take over from Don without too much trouble.

"No, click the _right_ button on the mouse. Yes, the—no, the one on your _right_. Yes, now select _copy_—no, wait—agh!"

Leo was relieved to notice that the shout had come after Don leaned forward and pressed the mute button. Then he pressed it again and went on, making faces and rude gestures, but keeping his voice calm and polite. And loud.

Finally he hung up, throwing himself back in his chair and making pathetic noises. Leo stepped out from behind a stack of monitors and towers and caught Don's eye. Don caught it for just a moment, and then went back to his computer, typing up the report of the call.

Leo, hesitated, and then just got to it. "When I was in the jungle I hunted a jaguar once."

Don's expression as he typed made him think that perhaps he had started about five minutes too early after all. He plunged ahead.

"It took a long time. I didn't know how to track things very well in the jungle yet, so I sat and waited at a spot I knew it visited on a regular basis. I waited for days before it showed up, but I was willing to wait for weeks if need be. It had killed a child, and you can't let an animal like that get a taste for human flesh. I got really tired of waiting motionless in the same spot, but it finally paid off when the jaguar came by. It came within a few feet of me. I could have reached out and touched it. I waited a few more moments until I had it timed perfectly, and then lunged, slicing its throat. I had killed it."

He paused, looking up at Don, who was actually staring at him with a slightly worried expression. He looked down again.

"Of the two of us, though, I think you're the more patient one."

Don's expression shifted into something more like amusement. He paused (Leo could see him hesitate) and then spoke.

"Thanks," he said, glancing up at Leo briefly, mouth quirking into an almost-smile. "Though you could have just said so."

Leo shrugged, secretly pleased that Don was speaking to him at all. Then he said,

"So, how are things? With your job. And the whole… money… thing."

Don turned back to his computer. Leo could tell he was just avoiding answering. After a moment, though, he shook himself slightly and said,

"It's fine. It's… well, money-wise we'll… we'll be okay. I mean, it's a lot tighter now that Mikey isn't working, but I can handle it."

Leo knew he wasn't being entirely truthful.

"So what you're saying is you could use another income."

Don looked slightly guilty at being caught in the half-truth. "Yeah," he said sheepishly. "I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if we didn't owe April so much…"

"We owe April?" This was the first he'd heard about it. Don nodded.

"Well, she would say we don't, but when Splinter got sick a few months ago she really went out of her way to help. I've been giving her what I can, but lately I've had to sneak it into her wallet through Casey."

Leo nodded, and took a deep breath.

"Don, I'd like to help out with the money situation if I can."

"Thanks Leo, but I don't really know what you could do."

Another breath, deeper.

"Well, I've been thinking. It's only been a few weeks since Mikey quit the Cowabunga Carl gig. Maybe it wouldn't be too hard to start it up again. We still have the head and everything, right?"

Don frowned in instant annoyance.

"Are you really suggesting Mikey start doing that again? You know how much it traumatized him."

Leo flushed. He hadn't wanted to come out and say it like this, but…

"No, not Mikey. I wouldn't want to push him back to that. I was thinking… another one of us. Like… me."

Don was just staring at him now.

"You?"

Leo felt his face heat up.

"Yes, Don. I'd really like to contribute around here, especially since I haven't been around to contribute for the last year and a half."

Don was still staring. Leo shifted.

"What?"

"You want to be Cowabunga Carl," Don said flatly. "You. Leo. You want to entertain little children at birthday parties."

"I… yes." Leo stood firm. He would not let his brother's disbelief shake his resolve.

"Mikey!" Though two brothers might be able to accomplish it. Leo cringed when Mikey popped up.

"What, Don? I was in the middle of something."

"Mikey. You won't believe this. Leo—you tell him, he'll never believe it coming from me."

Leo grit his teeth.

"I'd like to take over the Cowabunga Carl business from you Mike, if that's okay."

His little brother's mouth dropped open, and then worked like a fish for several seconds.

"Seriously?" His voice was much higher pitched than a grown turtle's had any right to be. "You? You want to don the head and face the hordes of screaming kids?"

"I _want_ to contribute to this family in any way I can," Leo said, wondering if a retreat was in order. "I'd be happy to do anything, but this seemed the simplest way."

Mike was giggling now, and Don was starting to join in. Leo sighed.

"Look, do you think it's a good idea, or not?"

"Raph!"

_Oh no._ Leo turned to walk away, but Raph was already there.

"What is it, bonehead?" Raph demanded of his now helpless-with-laughter little brother. Mikey managed to sputter out,

"Cow-cow-cowabunga... _Leo!_"

Leo scowled. Raph looked at him incredulously.

"What?"

"I offered to help bring in some money by taking over the party thing," Leo muttered, looking away. This was all he needed: Raph joining in the fun. Said turtle leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Leo thoughtfully.

"I think it's a good idea," he said seriously. The two comedians stopped laughing and stared at him. Leo joined in.

"You do?" the three of them asked in unison. He nodded.

"Yeah. And I think I can help." Their expressions of shock were reaching epic proportions. Raph smirked "Yeah, Leo will go as Cowabunga Carl and entertain the kiddies, and I'll go as the Nightwatcher and service their lonely housewife mommies."

More shocked looks, different in nature, though it wasn't long before Mikey dissolved into giggles again. Leo frowned.

"Raph," he said in a warning voice. Raph straightened slightly in challenge. "Only if we get to switch off."

Mikey gave a huge guffaw, and this time Don and Raph joined in. Leo cracked a smile of his own. It had been a long time since he'd made his brothers laugh. It felt good. Even if he was the object of their amusement. Baby steps, he told himself. Baby steps.


	10. v

"So, Leo…"

"Hm?"

"About the whole rooftop fight thing…"

"Look, Raph, I… I hope you can forgive me for the things I said back there. I've already forgiven you for almost trying to kill me. Ah. That sounded more bitter than I meant it to."

"Hehehe, don't worry Splinter-junior. That ain't what I was getting at."

"Oh? Then what _were_ you getting at?"

"Well, fighting you up there… it made me wonder."

"Yeah?"

"Where did you learn to trash talk like that?"

"…So have you forgiven me?"

"…yeah…"

"…I'm glad…."

"…you still haven't answered my question."

"And I never will."

~Fin~

* * *

_That's it for now, folks. Thanks for sticking with me. _

_I realized, rather belatedly, that I left Splinter entirely out of this, and he's one of the biggest problems in the whole movie. So there may be a sequel in the future dealing with him. Thanks again for reading! _


End file.
